Turn Back to Him

I Turn Back to You, Lord

When I'm in distress

I hear You calling me

Coming near to help me up

And take my hand to stand

When I try to run

Far away from You
In the dark You're always there

To be the light along my way

Then my soul swells out

Wanting to come back

Crying out I bow down

And lifted my head up

I turn back to You, Lord

Fix this heart of mine

And bring me to Your Presence

Where I see Your glory shine

Bring me to the deep

Where I only sink beneath

And find Your peace and rest

I turn back to You, Lord.

– JBL 3/21/19

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I had composed this song lyrics just this morning. I had an awful feeling last night because of the consistent failures I've got these past few days. I just kept it to myself with grief and disappointment, and refused to give the burdens to God and ask him to fix my heart. 

My head kept taunting me to sleep again. I felt so restless, but I have to prepare myself to school.

As I ate my breakfast, my heart began to ache without knowing why. I just ignored it but a little while, I already found my eyes soaked with tears. "Why, Lord?" I whispered. Giving grace for the breakfast was not enough. Even the healthy and delicious meal didn't give me the strength to get back up. I must talk to Him and pour out the hurt. From this aching heart came the call to remember that failure deceit but God's truth is peace.

When I remembered His love, I knew that I could never really run away, because nothing can separate me from my first love. "Lord, I'm sorry..." I cried out. 

Then I began to be filled with words of melody...